To all my black, breastfeeding mamas, Happy Black Breastfeeding Week!
Breastfeeding, for many of us women of color, is way more than just feeding our babies. It’s an experience like no other. Knowing that we were once unable to do so, because of being forced to put the slave master’s babies before our own, makes our breastfeeding journeys all the more sacred. There are many negative connotations that historically, come along with black women breastfeeding. & I believe that has led to a distrust in the capability of our own bodies to fully supply the nutrients that our babies need.
In addition to that, many of us don’t have access to the same level of support as moms of other races. Black moms are actually 9 times more likely to be offered formula than white moms. As someone who had a good bit of support, a decent amount of knowledge on breastfeeding & was confident in my ability to do so, I still felt anxious about such a natural act. I was also tempted to stop when pushed by Leana’s former pediatrician, to supplement with formula. & this was just a week after she was born! So I can only imagine how often women are pressured into trusting in the “security” of formula feeding vs trusting their own bodies. Instead of informing women on facts like how little babies actually need to drink in the first few weeks, or how there are various ways to feed baby when they are slower to latch to the breast, we are pushed in the opposite direction. We are referred to lactation consultants far less & most times, have no clue that there are free support tools out there that help promote a successful breastfeeding experience.
I’m thankful that I’m able to stay home with Leana, nursing her on demand, which greatly helped us both get into the swing of things early on. I also had lots of encouragement from my doula & hospital nurse, who were constantly reminding me that my body would adjust to Leana’s needs. However, I know that that is not the case for all mamas out there. Many times, black mothers are faced with very little to no opportunity to take maternity leave, leading them to seek the easiest feeding method for their babies. Pumping breastmilk is a task in itself, with it being much more difficult to do in a. workplace setting so that option may not be available to some women.
I think there are several ways you can support the breastfeeding mom in your life. A few of which I wish were more prevalent in my own journey.
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Keep your opinions & criticisms to yourself! Everyone seems to have an opinion on whether or not baby is receiving enough milk, why they themselves wouldn’t or didn’t breastfeed, etc. None of those opinions should matter to a breastfeeding mom but they affect us more than one would think. We question the experience enough on our own & can do without the criticism of others.
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Care for mom by making sure she’s well nourished & comfortable when breastfeeding. This is a big one!!! Breastfeeding babies consume a crazy amount of energy from moms. Staying hydrated & well nourished is so important or else we can easily become weak. & it can be hard for moms to even remember, let alone find the time to keep themselves fed & whatnot. If you can help remind them of doing so, or provide snacks, drinks & meals for them,, that would be a great help. Also, holding baby while breastfeeding can get super uncomfortable so making sure they’re feeling good while in a comfortable position, is really helpful too.
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Don’t assume that any part of the breastfeeding experience is light work. Breastfeeding is no joke!!! Whether mama hand expresses & feeds baby by spoon, breastfeeds on demand from the breast, or pumps around the clock & bottle feeds – this shit is not for the faint of heart. To me, no part of this experience is easier than another & assuming that it’s simple for a mother to take on any part of it with ease, is just unrealistic.
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Don’t make mama feel uncomfortable for breastfeeding around you. Who knew that breastfeeding would make everyone around Leana & I so uncomfortable?! I can admit that I wasn’t always willing to freely whip my boob out around others but nowadays I only shy away from others while nursing because Leana is very easily distracted when drinking her “milkies.” Breastfeeding is such a natural thing & should be treated as such. Asking mothers to cover up, step away from others or just generally being weird around them when they are breastfeeding is not OK. If you feel uncomfortable, step away, before treating mom & baby like a strange circus act. But feel free to ask us if we want you to step away. Breastfeeding can get lonely & many of us could care less if you stay in the room & chat with us while we’re nursing.
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Educate yourself on babies & breastfeeding I think that if all of those around me knew just how great it is to breastfeed, for health benefits for mom & baby, they wouldn’t question my decision to nurse. & being aware of simple facts like newborn baby’s stomachs growing no bigger than an egg within the first month, does wonders for eliminating many of the questions you may be tempted to ask mothers.
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Offer to help with baby’s other needs There are plenty of ways to care for a baby, besides asking the mother if you can feed the child for her. I think people have really grown accustomed to feedings as being a rite of passage for family members of a new baby but with breastfeeding moms feeding baby from the breast, we have that down pact. There are plenty of other ways to help though! Bathing baby, helping them get to sleep, etc. are ways to relieve breastfeeding mothers.
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Offer words of encouragement if/when things get tough. Instead of outright suggesting that mom stops breastfeeding, or condemning her for things not going as planned, pause, & offer her verbal support for even beginning her breastfeeding journey in the first place.
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Help search for & offer external resources to support breastfeeding moms There are many reasons why a baby may not latch well or why mom is not producing as much milk as she would like – all of which are usually of no real concern. Lactation consultants can provide lots of help with this, & they are usually available for visits during mom’s hospital stay when giving birth, & even after she has gone home. Also, programs like WIC offer free breastfeeding support. & a quick Google search can give you local organizations that can assist further. There are also several great breastfeeding groups on facebook for us black moms.
Being a source of strength & positivity can do wonders for boosting the confidence of a breastfeeding mom. Black women should have ample support & it can start right in our households, amongst our family & friends,
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